Humiliation at Work, Anyone?

Friday: Meeting in the boss’ office. 

My boss and I and one other team member in attendance. We decide the particulars to present in an upcoming meeting between our department and another department. We also decide that I am going to present these particulars.

Monday: Meeting between departments.

Key members of both departments are present. As planned, I take the stage (in the form of a whiteboard and expo marker).  I begin to present, as planned.  I expected the other department members to offer up some resistance since we were basically setting out a ton of requirements and design work to be done in a compact amount of time. (Resistance which I got right away.)  Again, I expected it so it was easy to deal with. What I didn’t expect was the resistance from my boss!  She seemed confused and frustrated with me as if I was writing and speaking in another language.  At one point she walked right up to me, grabbed the marker out of my hand and said, “May I?” She then proceeded to cross out the words and diagrams I had put on the board…words and diagrams that we had agreed to on Friday…words and diagrams I reviewed over the weekend to make sure I got it right.

As I stand off to the side of the whiteboard and watch her to continue to cross out my work and redraw (the exact same things I drew), one of the members of the opposing department asked why she was doing that and why didn’t we just look at what Frazzled Cheese (that’s me) drew. My boss’ answer?  “We are not going with what SHE presented and I am not sure why we are talking about that!”

At this point I decide to sit down and just let her go at it.  She turned an already hostile meeting into an all-out bullying session.  She told the other department what we expected from them in a disorganized fashion, held back expectations from them that we had agreed to the Friday prior (I guess she will sneak attack them with this information at a later date?) and continued to berate them for not getting this work done when she was in the initial stages of making the first request. (I liken this latter tactic to yelling at the plumber for not fixing your pipes as you are making the appointment…cart before horse, anyone?) She was particularly nasty to the only female member of the opposing department by shushing her, cutting her off and making statements like, “I can assure you that you are wrong”. 

After the meeting, my boss turned to me and said, “Sorry I had to be harsh, you have to be straight with these guys and make them do what you want them to do.”  She didn’t say that she was sorry she was being harsh to me…just harsh in general I guess.  I just laughed it off as if it didn’t bother me as a defense mechanism.  I wanted to tell her she was out of line and totally just treated everyone in that room, including me; like we are all idiots and she is the only competent one in the entire company. I also wanted to warn her not to burn bridges with members of this department since we actually need a fair to large amount of work out of them if we are to be successful.  And, let’s be honest…I also wanted to ask her who she thinks she is to treat me like?

When I returned to my desk, the female member of the opposing department was already pinging me. She was laughingly competing with me to see who my boss treated worse during that entire debacle. We both agreed that I won and was thrown the fastest under the heaviest bus, most likely a double-decker with tons of horse power.  

While I was driving home, I was talking to my husband who was talking me down from giving my boss a piece of my mind.  He reminded me that I actually like my job; I am pretty good at it, receive a lot of accolades from numerous colleagues and have the fortunate situation of doing something that I am not only good at but get satisfaction out of doing. He also reminded me how broke we are and that if nothing else, we need the healthcare for our family.

So, I shall swallow my (Pride? No; not pride.) applaudedness? (think I just made up a word) and just keep on going and hope that the other department will see through her insecurities and hostility to the requirements that we laid out so that we can have a successful project roll-out.  Here’s hoping!